In Part I of this shocking and graphic interview, Full-On talks with a gentleman referred to as “MRV” for “Midget Rape Victim”. Remember, this is only part one. We want you to email us with any follow up questions you would like us to ask this dude, because frankly, we don’t believe it either!  

FO: So, you’re telling us that you were raped by a midget?

MRV: This is the scariest thing to reminisce about but unfortunately in a way yes I was.  

FO: This was guy or a girl?

MRV: An evil demon midget girl!  

FO: Tell us about the time leading up to the incident.

MRV: Well I just went to go see Yngwie Malmsteen at the Avalon in Hollywood and then went to a close little dive bar called Frolic Room.  I was already a few beers up once I got to the bar and proceeded to drink at the Frolic and I was talking to a buddy who had gone with me.  All of a sudden Dead Horse by GN'R comes on and being one of the better tunes of the Loose Your Illusions I mean Use Your Illusions album I looked over to see who put it on, and I didn't see anyone, then I looked down and I saw this little dwarf girl.  

FO: How did she look?

MRV: She actually looked like that porn star Bridgett The Midget from the Howard Stern show and that is actually who I thought it was because my buddy said that was her.  So we all started talking about GN'R and the best type of rock which included but not limited to.....Love Hate/Jetboy/Paul Black/L.A. Guns/Odin/Kick Tracee and others  

FO: At any time did you wanna bang her?

MRV: Never did I want to bang her and that's the honest to gremlins truth.  Dude, I am a not into dwarfs, midgets, little people...whatever the fuck they want to be called.  

FO: How did she smell?

MRV: Like fuckin' patchouli.  

FO: How fucked up were you?

MRV: I admit that I was drunk and drinking a little heavy that night.  

FO: How did you get erect?

MRV:  I was never erect.  Sometime my dick does go on hard without warning though.  You know what I mean homeboy.  

FO: How did she get the rubber on you? 

MRV: Alright, you are jumping the gun here.  You didn't even ask how I had to drive her back to here place. etc.  But to answer your question, she came hoping over when I was in her house which was only to have another beer and then leave.  She comes hoping over with a fuckin' rubber.  

FO: How did she get your cock in her?

MRV:  That never happened but she was at waist length and was always pushing her little nubs in my groin area.  That's when I high tailed it out of there.  Very gross feeling  

FO: Did you finish? 

MRV: Fuck no slice, she never even got into my pants but I definitely felt violated and abused, so you can call it rape.  If you would have been there you would know that I was talking about.  

FO: Would you do it again? Have you done it again? 

MRV: I will never give another small stanky ass bitch a ride home because she was broke and too drunk to get a cab.  Lesson learned.  If I ever do it again I will punish myself sticking an anal plug up my ass.